I woke up this morning thinking about something, so I decided to write it down and share it. It is a question that has been puzzling me for years, however, I have not had many conversations with people regarding this topic so I am posing it today.
The question is, “Why are we, as people, hesitant to use powerful words to communicate positive emotions?” I am thinking about either saying something positive about yourself or accepting compliments from others. Here’s an example, let’s say you are really great at playing the piano, all of your friends tell you that you are an amazing piano player; then someone asks you if you are a good piano player, most of the time your reaction would be to downplay your skill level.
Most people would respond by saying that they are “okay” or they are “pretty good”, however, in some cases they may feel that they are an excellent piano player but won’t communicate it. Even if you think that you are not a great piano player and other people think you are, why is it that you respond with less positive words? I think that in general people are taught not to brag, (some cultures and families more than others), so that sticks with us throughout our lives.
By using mediocre words it allows us to feel safe, unchallenged, and comfortable; by staying in this lane we tend to think of ourselves as average and that is simply not the case. Every single person is unique; we are all great, fantastic, or outstanding at something, whether it is raising your children, being a friend, your work, or some other talent, we excel at something. Powerful words allow us to give ourselves permission to BE powerful! Think about that.
Here’s another example, think of a time when you were lying around your house, wearing your comfy clothes, you probably felt relaxed, comfortable, wearing “lazy” clothes. If someone were to compliment you, you would automatically become defensive and disagree saying that you are not looking good at that moment. Why? Because you associate looking and feeling good with how you are dressed. Now flip that to a time that you are going out to an event, or somewhere that you are dressed in your best. You are looking your best, you feel great about yourself, you can look in the mirror and say, “I’m looking great.” You carry yourself with a different demeanor when you feel good about yourself, in knowing that, why don,t you use powerful words to create a more positive self-image?
This is the power of powerful words, the words that you say to yourself or not can impact how you feel about yourself, which in turn leads to the action that you will or will not take. If you have a strong desire to be better at something, or to achieve a personal goal, having a plan, positive self-talk, and celebrating milestones will most likely be key factors in your success.
Powerful words like, “great, excellent, outstanding, beautiful, exceptional” are all words that you should be saying to yourselves and others when you identify those qualities or moments that warrant compliments. I’m not saying to go around being cocky or conceited telling the world you are great, but being specific about what you are great at, or why you are feeling fantastic today.Here are a few tips to help you create a stronger positive self-image.
1. Accept Authentic Compliments – You are probably wondering what I mean by this, let me tell you. People get compliments all the type, from friends, family, co-workers, even strangers, however sometimes the compliments are not authentic, you may be complimented because someone wants something from you, not because you think you deserve it. authentic compliments are when someone says something nice about you because they truly believe that you deserve it so accept it. Allow the person to compliment you, listen fully, accept it, and thank them. Often times we feel uncomfortable about receiving a compliment. Don’t. you deserve it, you need to own it and accept it.
2. Give Yourself Daily Affirmations – Daily affirmations are saying powerful statements to yourself about yourself throughout the day. It can be something as simple as waking up in the morning, looking in the mirror and saying, “I’m going to have a productive day today because I am great”. Another time to use daily affirmations is when you are having difficulty doing something at home or work, it is a good time to remind yourself that you are an intelligent person, you can do this, or you have other talents that you excel at. It is a great way to boost confidence, however, I don’t recommend going around to people telling them how great you are once you first meet them, that could be considered as being conceited or cocky. ha-ha
Here a few websites with some daily affirmations to get you started:http://www.busygoat.com/2012/04/12/100-positive-daily-affirmations/#13675949753471&71684::resize_frame|102-224http://positive-daily-affirmations.blogspot.ca/
3. Throw Out the Negativity – It is interesting that one of the first words most of us learn when we are children is “No”, how differently would life be if the first word we learned was “yes?” Negativity is ingrained in us and like a bad habit, it is hard to shake. It is important to get rid of your, “dark passenger’, (for you Dexter fans), and get rid of the negative or mediocre self talk. When you find yourself saying that you “can’t do it” or you think it is too difficult, switch to your daily affirmation, think of reasons why you can do it. Consider all of the challenges that you have overcome to get where you are today and kick negativity to the curb.4. Be About It – Talk is talk and walk is walk. That’s right, I said it! If you want to live a more fulfilling life and feel more powerful, then you have to live it, you have to be about the changes that you want to make. Put it into practice, learn to fully accept compliments, remove negativity from you life, (this includes people by the way), use powerful positive words, and develop powerful affirmations. You actually have to do what you want to do to be who you want to be.5. Positive People – This is a no brainer but it is important. In order to be the positive person, you want to be, to achieve what you want to achieve, to maintain positivity about yourself, you need to be around positive people. We all know people who have a negative outlook on life, they may even be negative towards you, but for some reason, you have kept them around because they are a family member or “friend” you have known for years. Well, you need to separate yourself from those people. If they cannot respect you and the positivity you are creating for yourself then the best thing may be to distance yourself from them and focus more on positive people in your life. Who are the people who lift you up? Who are the people that always compliment you? Are there people who help to keep you on track when you are trying to achieve your goals? Those are the people you need to spend more time with. If you do not have people like that, or if you need more support to help you live a more fulfilling life, think about getting a life coach. Life coaches can help people be who they want to be and achieve their life goals and I’m not just saying that because I am a life coach, many successful people and many people in general, use life coaches to help them turn aspirations into successes. Something to think about.
Danny, Your Mindset Coach
Danny Stone is a Speaker, Mindset Coach and Author of the best-selling book, You Have The Keys, Now Drive. For more than 15 years he has been helping people get more clarity, take massive action, and create the lives they want. He’s helped countless individuals move from the passenger seat to become the drivers of their lives. If you are struggling in your life or business and want more success and happiness, contact Danny to set up your Free Clarity Call.
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