Many of us have heard the saying “haters are gonna hate” if you haven’t then I’m sure you have encountered “haters” are some point in your life or you may have hated someone else for whatever reason. The question is why? Why do people hate on others? Where does it come from?
First, let’s define what the term “hater” means. A hater is a person that either disregards other people’s accomplishments, a person that greatly dislikes someone or something, or a negative or critical person, according to my knowledgeable friend, Google.
The question is, Why do people hate on others? It may come from many different places, let me give you 5 reasons you or others hate on people.
1. Haters are NOT happy with things that are happening in their own lives. It is easier to hate someone who is successful or doing something that you want to do or admire, rather than change your situation. Many people hate on others because that individual appears to be living their dreams and they are not; enter “hateration” ( hating on someone). When things are going wrong in their lives, people often look to others as the reason why and the hater develops irrational reasoning and dislikes for others who are doing what they are not.
2. “I grew up like this, I grew up like this” (a play on Beyoncés song I woke up like this). Some people were raised in an environment surrounded by negativity and carry that forward in life. They possibly had very negative family members and friends or grew up in neighborhoods where there was a lack of trust, motivation and role models. If you grow up hearing negative comments and name-calling, it may carry forward into your adult life. In some cases it causes the hater to have poor relationships with others and they are unable to establish meaningful relationships and achieve their life goals. The negativity consumes their lives and all of their efforts are spent blaming others for their lack of success and happiness. Are you seeing a pattern here relating to being unsuccessful and hating on others?
3. Scare themselves out of chasing their goals and dreams. This is related to not being happy with things happening in your life, but it goes beyond that. It’s about the fear of success. Some people are so afraid to succeed they don’t bother to set lofty goals, instead they direct their negative energy at those brave enough to pursue their passions and purpose. Their lives are ruled by fear and because of that fear, they project their hate for letting fear hold them back onto others. Haters downplay others’ accomplishments and achievements and often hope that the individual that they are hating on fails so that they can justify their reason for not striving for their goals and dreams.
4. They feel defeated because of saboteurs. At some point, haters may have tried to achieve a goal or dream and they may not have been successful due to saboteurs. A saboteur is someone or something that holds a person back in their lives. It can be negative words, situations, or people who have had a tremendous negative effect on a person’s self-esteem, ego, and ability to move forward in life. They may be bitter or angry that they allowed someone or something g to discourage them from moving forward in life so they have built up resentment towards others. Often in life haters avoid saboteurs or lock away negative experiences that have held them back in their lives, instead they opt to project negativity on to others who may or may not have had a direct impact on their lives.
5. This last one might be odd to you, however, haters hate because they see pieces of themselves in the person that they are hating on. You are probably thinking “huh, what is Danny talking about?” Think about this, we have so much access to celebrities and their stories through various mediums, we know almost everything about them. Many have had various life challenges, poverty, debt, terrible relationships with family and life partners, drug or alcohol addictions, and other life challenges. Some of us look at that and may or may not relate, yet we admire the fact they have conquered many challenges. Others see themselves in those individuals, they see the challenges that the celebrity or person they admire have overcome and become bitter. They wonder why they haven’t had the same success, why no one cares about their story, they may feel they have had to overcome way more than the celeb or person that getting the attention, yet they don’t have the fame and success. Haters take it to heart and instead of changing their situation, they bad mouth and trash talk the individual that they secretly admire.
Regardless of the reasons why people hate on others and become haters, the reality is that there will always be people who hate on you for certain accomplishments and achievements that you attain in your life. Whether you think they are significant or not, it doesn’t matter. People who are stuck in life, have low-self esteem, constantly compare their self-worth to others’ net worth, ( the monk who sold his Ferrari book by Robin Sharma), will continue to hate others. Instead of letting haters negatively affect your life, smile, and wave while you are on your way to living your best life and turn your focus to those who are supporting you along the way. It can be challenging to get out of this hater mentality, however, you have the ability to live a more vibrant, fulfilling life if you can shift your attention to finding your own passion and purpose. If you cannot do it alone, maybe it’s time to connect with a live coach that can help you make that transformation.
Danny, Your Mindset Coach
Danny Stone is a Speaker, Mindset Coach and Author of the best-selling book, You Have The Keys, Now Drive. For more than 15 years he has been helping people get more clarity, take massive action, and create the lives they want. He’s helped countless individuals move from the passenger seat to become the drivers of their lives. If you are struggling in your life or business and want more success and happiness, contact Danny to set up your Free Clarity Call.
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